Corazonado
by something like human
Summary: shounen ai song fic. VegetaGoku. A rash impulse on the prince's part leads the two to contemplate how they feel about each other.
1. corazonado

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or Ricky Martin…although I wouldn't mind having either. 

A/N:  First songfic, first *true* shounen ai.  The lyrics and the title are from Ricky Martin's song, _Corazonado_ on his _Vuelve_ cd. Yes, it is in Spanish…but that only makes it sexier! (I can attempt to translate them if someone wants me to.)

Lyrics are in quotes.

"Te dire en secreto

Y aue quede entre tu y you…"  
  


Usually when I train, it clears my head.  I say usually because right now I can't think at all. I just can't seem to clear my head. I can't concentrate on anything.  Well, there is one thing I can concentrate on.

"Siento que te quiero

Puede ser que si, puede que no"

My mind always drifts to thinking about you.  You.  I can't even bring myself to think your name right now. It makes me feel guilty for wanting you.  Guilty for thinking of you the way I do. I feel guilty for what happened.

""Te bese instintivamente

sin saber lo que hacia

yo me lance"

I lost control of myself.  For one moment in time I let my heart decide instead of my head.  I wanted to kiss you for years, and at that moment instinct overrode rational thought.  I did not think of how you would react. I just had to taste your lips.  I had to see if they were as soft as they looked.

"Corazonado

delante de tu cuerpo

yo me rompia

sintiendome bendecido por tu amor"

I should have known how you'd react.  I mean, it happened so suddenly.  I even scared myself.  I don't blame you for your freezing.  You're body becoming rigid with fear.  Once again, we were exact opposites.  I shook with apprehension and you froze.

"Corazonado

en brazos de tu brazos

se derretia 

el iceberg de mi frio corazon"

You were so surprised.  I don't understand how I surprised you that much.  I've felt like this for a long time.  You were the one to make me able to feel this way.  My heart was just a stone in my chest before I met you.  It was you that turned it into the fluttering, irrational thing it is now.

"Ahora tengo meido

se te digo la verdad"

You left without saying a word, I could not explain myself.  Now I don't know how to tell you how I feel.  I don't think I have the words to describe it anyways.  I don't think I could ever face you again to tell you anyways.

"Sufrira mi ego

donde acabara mi vanidad"

The second after I pulled away from the kiss and looked up at you, I felt so vulnerable.  At first it felt good to be that way with you. But the longer we stayed silent, the worse I felt.  My pride was starting to suffer the longer the silence stretched. You weren't even looking at me.

"Te toque inmediamente

Corazon de suicida

Me enamore"

I reached for you.  I try to make you look into my eyes.  I couldn't find the words so I thought that I could show you.  All I saw was confusion in your eyes.  I had hurt you, I think.  I never wanted that to happen. I never wanted that to happen. 

"Yo te ame voluntaramente

corazon de suicida 

me enamore"  
  


I had gone to you willingly.  I wanted it selfishly.  I did not consider how you would feel, how you feel.  I still don't know exactly how you feel.  You just stepped back away from me silently.  You lifted your fingers to you lips to trace where mine had been the moment before.  Then you lifted those fingers higher to your forehead. Then you were gone.

"Eres tu, mi secreto eres tu

Eres tu, mi secreto eres tu"

I don't think I can tell anyone about what happened.  Who would I tell anyways?  My children? No, that would make me seem like I was betraying their mother.  Your sons? Never, they would try to kill me.  I would never be good enough for you in their eyes.  

"Yo te ame, de versa que te ame

Yo te ame, seguro que te ame."  
  


I love you, do you know that?  Maybe you do now, or do you think I just kissed you for nothing?  Maybe you just reacted that way because of surprise.  You always were the last to suspect things.  But you were always the first to trust, to love.  You melted my heart and made me love you, do you know that? Do you, Kakarrot?  Could you possibly have loved me back if I hadn't ruined everything with my rash impulse…

"Corazonado…"


	2. scared of you

Disclaimer: Dragonball Z is not mine and neither is Nelly Furtado. 

A/N: After some threats from Renegade Phoenix, I had to write the other side of the situation (again as a song fic).  For some reason she wanted me to write it to "Nookie"…I don't think that fits. So I went through all my cd's and came up with "Scared of You" by Nelly Furtado.  Sorry RP, only half the song is in English, the rest is in Portuguese. 

Lyrics are in quotes.

"I'm sorry I forsake you

I'm sorry that I left you."  
  


I shouldn't have left.  I know that now; I guess I knew it then, too.   I just had to leave.  I couldn't think with you looking at me like that.  Here and now is not much different.  I still can't think.

"I'm sorry I did forget you"  
  


I left so I could think.  I didn't think of you would feel if I left without saying a word.  You're probably really upset now.  I can't help it; I tend to forget other's feelings sometimes.  Like when I decided not to come back after Cell, I never realized how much I hurt my family.

"I'm sorry that I made myself feel better

By making you feel never good enough"  
  


I don't think of other's feelings hardly at all.  All these years I've known you; I've tried to make you better.  A better what, I'm not sure; maybe I was trying to make you more like myself.  I wanted you to be happy.  I hope you didn't feel that I thought of myself as better than you because of that.

"I know you'll shine much brighter than I ever could"

I never thought that at all.  You are a Prince in every aspect of the word, in every aspect of your life.  You have overcame some much in your life.  Things I can't even imagine.  To life through the horrors of your early life and still be the great man you are now still amazes me.  You always amaze me.

"Maybe that's why I was

Scared of you

(And in everything I do I'm still thinking of you) of you"

And once again you amazed me.  I never thought in a million years that what happened would have ever happened.  Well, maybe I did.  Does that make sense?  I'm always confusing myself.  I spend years trying to make you better, happier, while the whole time putting you in a category way above myself.  Even if you had never called me a third class warrior, deep down I still think I would know that you are a breed above me.  I was always just a man of the forest, the little wild boy Bulma found so many years ago. But you, you were a prince.  You were the Prince of our people, my prince.  I've always been slightly intimidated by that fact.  Even though we are the last of our kind and somewhere where the title means nothing, it still means something to me.

"And I know you were scared of me

(But every time I tried to love you I just fell through) too"

You probably didn't know that I thought that way about you.  Here, everyone labels you as lesser than me because I they see me as stronger.  I know at first that made you furious. You couldn't stand the thought of someone being more powerful than you.  It drove you to your limits and then over them, just so you could surpass me.  I can't help that I've been blest with this ability; stuff just comes easily to me while you almost killed yourself accomplishing the same.  Even though we're now closer to the same level than we have ever been before, I still think you see me as something so much greater than yourself.  I wish I could give you my abilities or let you beat me.  I tried once to hold back so that you would win but you got angry with me.

"Desculpa-me se eu te ofendi

Desculpa-me se ue te esqueci"

I didn't mean to hurt you then, just as I didn't mean to hurt you now.  You just surprised me with your abruptness.  I reacted out of shock, out of fear.  I didn't know what to do.  I could tell by the look on your face that the kiss was sincere.  I think that is maybe what scared me, scared me stiff.  It was all too dreamlike.

"Desculpa me se eu te deixei

Eu te deixei"

Dreamlike.  That is what it was.  I never thought that you could ever feel for me. At first I thought it was some cruel joke you were playing on me.  Not that I think you are capable of torturing anyone any more, but the thought had crossed my mind.  That is why I couldn't look at you at first.  I was afraid that you would be laughing at me for not stopping your kiss.

"E desculpa-me por me sentir bem com tua dor

Sabes que eu te adoro"  
  


Then you made me look you in the eyes.  It was no trick, I could tell.  The emotions screamed at me from those dark depths.  You didn't need to say a word for me to know what you felt.  Or for me to know why you acted in the way you did, why you kissed me.  It scared me that you choose me to share your emotions with, to share your love?

"Mais sei que tua estrela e maior

Do que a minha, do que a minha

E por isso"

You love me, don't you?  It was written all over your face.  You looked so beautiful at that moment.  You were just hanging there waiting for me to…to do something.  I could have pushed you away or I could have pulled you in close.  It was all so overwhelming.  I wanted to pull you in but I didn't know. My heart was ready but for once my mind tried to think.  I say try because it wasn't working too well. The memory of your lips on mine only fogged my mind and I thought that I had to think.  I don't think I should have done that.

"Eu tenho medo deste amor

(os dias passo pensando em ti) amor"

I want to go back to you but now I'm afraid.  You will surely be angry with me.  I want to tell you how I feel, that my reaction was only out of shock not distaste.  But now, I don't think you will let me.  It will be a long time until we can face each other again, if ever.  I don't think you will ever let me tell you how much I love you.

"Medo deste amor

(Salva-me porque agora estou caindo) amor"  
  


I hope you forgive me.  I am new to this.  Funny, right? I've been married but I don't know how to be in love.  I know you've heard the story of my wedding; you had laughed at me when hearing it.  I want to tell you how I feel and how nervous it makes me to feel this way.  But now, things are different. I screwed up my chance.  How can you ever love me now for leaving you like I did? 

"Scared of you I was…

Scared of you I was"

I'm sorry but I was afraid.  Afraid of opening myself up to you like had just opened up with me.  Maybe things will be ok if I go back to you.  If I explain myself, explain my reaction.  I can apologize; I will apologize.  You probably won't accept it; you probably hate me now.  I should go back to you and straighten this out but I don't think I can.  I should go but it's just that I'm…

"Scared of you

Scared of you

Scared of you."


	3. Maybe

Disclaimer: DBZ and Enrique Iglasias are not mine. (boo hoo!)

A/N: Once again this will be in Vegeta's POV.  This time, I choose another hot Latin singer *drools* to portray his thoughts.  I don't know, there's just something undeniably sexy about Latin Music and Saiyans… well before I electrocute myself from drooling all over my keyboard, the name of the song is "Maybe".

(lyrics in quotes)

"If I had one single wish

I'd go back to the moment I kissed you"

It's funny.  You would think that after two weeks, I would at least be able to thing about something other than that day – that day I kissed you.  I relive that accursed moment in my mind daily, hourly, constantly.  I try to think of how I could have changed it.  I'm not saying that I regret kissing you; in fact I treasure the brief contact.  I just should have said something to make you stay.

"No matter how I try  
I can't live

Without you in my life"

It's been two weeks since I've even seen you.  They have been the two longest weeks in my life – and the two hardest.  You are not the easiest person to avoid.  I never realized how intertwined our lives were.  Over the years, it's been like we were performing an intricate dance that everyone else watched and we were not aware of.  Even one day without you made my son worry.  I know that after two weeks he has asked your brat if something happened between us.  I have to confront you soon or they will come to me for answers that I am not sure I can answer yet.

"Maybe you'll say you still want me  
maybe you'll say that you don't"

What will you say when I confront you?  That it was a mistake?  Now I wonder what the mistake would have been in your eyes.  I know that to have you regret your reaction, your leaving, would be too much.  That would be expecting far too much.  You probably are mad at me.  You have never thought of us in that way so kissing would have been unfathomable.  

"Maybe we said it was over

But baby I can't let you go"

Even if you reject me, I have to find out.  I just need to see you.  These two weeks have been a living Hell.  Somehow, in your rejection of me, I hope you will let us remain friends.  I know it is in your nature to forgive so I'm hoping you can forgive me and let things return to the semi-normal our lives have always been.  That again, would probably be too much to ask.

"I walk around trying to understand

Where we went wrong"

This is all so frustrating.  For two weeks, I've been trying to figure out what happened.  I know you were surprised, that was quite obvious and expected.  Then you seemed almost like you were afraid.  Why were you afraid of me?  Well, I can understand why someone would fear me – I did purge planets for a living.  That was the past though and you know me better than that.  Maybe it was that I, for once, displayed emotion.  I've probably been around you too long.  You usually are the emotional one; you are so easy to read.  I'm the hard-ass, unfeeling prick.  It seems that day change both of us.  I bared my heart to you and you became unreadable. 

"And I can't pretend

It wasn't me  
And it wasn't you"

No, I am wrong.  I didn't change that day. I've felt like this for a long time.  All I did two weeks ago was try to show it to you.  A lot of good that did.  I can't blame you either.  I try to think of how I would have reacted if you had kissed me.  Well, under the circumstances, I most definitely would have kissed you back.  But, if I was not already in love with you, I might have killed you. Then again, I can't imagine not being in love with you.

"But I'm convinced 

We gave up too soon"

If you had not run away, I may have been able to make you understand.  Even though the seconds had drug on, the whole thing was over too fast.  If only I had had enough courage to speak, then you wouldn't have left like that.  Then I would not be left hanging like this, feeling like I've been dismissed.

"Nothing left to lose

After losing you

There's nothing I can't take"

Dismissed.  Rejected.  Ignored.  I showed you everything I had hidden in my heart and you left.  Humiliated.  Embarrassed.  Jilted.  I thought that since I came here years ago that all I had left in my life was my pride.  I don't even have that any more.  So there will be nothing to fear when I confront you now.  I've already lost everything to you.  There is nothing now that you can do that will hurt me any worse than that.

"When I run to you

When I come for you

Don't tell me I'm too late"

I better find you before I lose my nerve.  I don't want to hear you condemn me for what happened but I need to know how you feel.  I know it is foolish to hope you feel the same as me especially since you've also been avoiding me for two weeks.  I am a fool.  I am the universe's biggest fool ever. Even after everything, I still want you to love me.  I still dream about us.  I still hope that you might love me in return.  That maybe I can be with you.

"Maybe…"

~*~

PS: another A/N: I know, still no resolution!  Sorry!  I'm working on it!


	4. don't turn off the lights

Disclaimer: Same as before, I don't own DBZ or Enrique. 

A/N: Yay, another Enrique song and another chapter! This time (SMDSP, pay attention) it is GOKU.

"lyrics in quotes"

"I don't have to tell you

What this is all about"  
  


Proof again that we both think alike.  After two weeks, I found myself face to face with you.  Somehow we both felt the need to return to the same place where it happened.  Just looking at you I could tell that I was not surprise to you that I would be there.  We are here for the same reason but what was going to happen was anyone's guess.

"Cause baby half the fun

Is in figuring it all out"

I knew what I wanted to do.  Over the roller coaster of the past weeks, I had come up with my decision.  Now if you would let me tell you what I wanted to, it would be a surprise. I had so much to tell you; I had rehearsed it over and over in my mind.  As for what you were going to do, I had no clue but from your body language, it was not good.

"So why you gotta ask me

What I'm doing now"  
  


You actually questioned my reason for coming – like you did not already know.  Your voice was cold, too cold.  I was starting to wonder how you were feeling.  You had all your emotions under tight control.  Your face was a mask of indifference as you spoke.  Everything about you was restrained, controlled.

"Cause I don't like to question

What I still haven't found"

Your indifferent attitude was causing me to start doubting myself.  I did not doubt my feelings – I do not think those could ever change.  I doubted my choice to see you and do what I wanted to.  I was questioning our future.  "Our."  I thought that we were not two separate people but somehow one unit.

"So tell me how we're gonna get there

It's hard to even try"  
  


After staring me down for an eternity, you finally wet your lips and started to speak again.  You didn't exactly speak though. I was more like barking insults at me.  You seemed to cover everything you knew about me and somehow made it all sound bad.  You even cursed the day I was born.  You condemned me for being born a third-class warrior.  It made me wonder by your tone of voice and inflection if you were cursing me for being that much lower than you or cursing the class system for making me so.

"But if we move together

We'll end up on the same side"

Somehow I agree with you on that.  I could not help what class I was born to.  You started saying that if we were still on our home-world, we would never have met.  I was too low for you to be with.  I really wanted to cut in and remind you that we were no longer there and that it was you who kissed me first.  I help my tongue for a moment though.  In that time, you raised your voice and gradually started yelling at me.  You were so intense.  I lost your words and their meaning as I watched you.

"If you could know what I'm feeling

Would you run and where would you go"  
  


When you first came to Earth, your intensity and passion intimidated me.  At times, it downright scared me.  Now I find myself drawn to it like a moth to the flame – and a flame you had become.  I watched transfixed as you went Super Saiyan as your verbal assault on me escalates.  You may have done it to threaten me but I found that it only made me want you more.  You started to move towards me and I moved towards you. 

"If you want to see what I'm thinking

Then just turn on the lights and you'll know"

You stopped talking when we were just inches from each other.  After taking a few deep breaths, you asked me what I had to say for myself.  At that point, I doubt I could have formed a coherent thought to put into words.  I stared down at your body aglow with its power.  At that moment I knew that words were insufficient to portray what I had to say to you.  I grabbed your head in my hands and pulled you in for a bruising kiss.

"So don't turn off the lights

I don't want to be in the dark tonight"

I put all my emotions that I had felt in the previous tow weeks into that kiss. I showed you my shock, my fear, my shame and guilt, and more than anything, I showed you my love.  When I pulled back, I looked at you to see how you were going to react.

"Cause I can't read your mind

I need to know if what I'm doing is right"

I hoped that my form of apology would be accepted.  You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as you stared right into my eyes.  You then slapped me with your upraised hand saying that it was for running away.  It was not a hard slap but it still stung – emotionally more than physically.  When I did not turn my head back to look you in the eye, you took my face in your hands and pulled it down to yours.  To my surprise, you kissed me.  It was tender and deep.  When we finally ended the joining of our mouths, we both had tears in our eyes.  I have never see so much love in your eyes before.  I could have stared into their depths forever and from the way you were looking at me, I believe that you would have let me.

"So don't turn off the lights…"


End file.
